Saturday, March 24, 2012

Microwave Massacre DVD review

   After watching this forgotten vestige of the VHS era, I was curious what the rest of the world thought of this movie.  It gets pretty stinky reception on IMDB, though I'd like to disagree with them to an extent.  It is NOT the worst horror movie ever, though I'd say "Blood Lake" and many of the "8 Films to Die For" Series would fall under that category.

The movie's opening proves to be the creepiest shot of the entire film (and the only creepy shot period) of a skeletal woman in an oven sized microwave under a red light.  Then ding, we go to a shot of a hoaky score that leads to a close up of a woman's healthy cleavage bouncing and bouncing some more as she walks to wherever.  This movie is purely meant for comedy from here on out.  Much of the movie relies on strained humor, and it seems like the actors are winking at the camera because they know their dialogue is hammy as hell. 

And that's what made me enjoy the film so much.  The movie veers from cheesy boob jokes to random husband and wife humor, especially how a wife wants to make fine "cu-zine" and the husband just wants a bologna sandwich.  The message is philosophical, right?

You wouldn't think a movie like "Microwave Massacre" would have pokes at gay and transvestite culture and the blue collar working class.  And you can't forget the strange scene where the woman pokes her boobs in the holes of a wooden fence for no reason as construction workers come running to get a taste of boob with tongues hanging out of their mouths or the female neighbor of the lead character (a robust Jackie Vernon) who's using a dildo to hoe her garden.  These things seem to happen and it doesn't matter why.  Just let it rip, right? 

The humor is even farther off in the deep end of random.  Try a scene where a woman is spread out on a large piece of bread and covered in mayonaise by a giant knife.  Or a group of middle aged construction workers going through the drive-thru telling a woman to take her top off, stick out her tongue, oh, and a diet coke to go, and the woman does it. 

I have trouble pegging down the point of the whole movie.  Jackie Vernon goes from killing his wife and putting her in tin foil to save for later, from killing several hookers and cheap woman and wining and dining (on them) them.  Maybe the movie is trying to say all men want to do is eat women.  Or the female body is scrumptious, so heat it up in a microwave and eat. 

It fails to scare or prove itself to be a bloodbath, but I respect how early on "Microwave Massacre" doesn't lie and tell you it's something it's not.  This film is ludacrous fun.  It's cheap, tawdry, and groan inducing at times by the lameness of its humor.  But again, that's what I find endearing about this film.  I was sad the movie was over when it ended because I wanted more. 

Anthem's DVD is a VHS rip that leaves me to wonder if a cleaned up version could surface, though being dug up deep from the trash heap of forgotten horror movies, this is probably the best we're going to get, though it's nice we have this heap of cheese UNCUT. 

"MM" has a special place in my heart, but I'm giving it a 3.  Most people will write this off as shit and give it a 1.  If you strip away the expectation of wanting a gory horror movie and eye the movie for it's strange brand of humor, then you'll take something from "MM." 


  1. I absolutely agree! Some people just "get it".

  2. The DVD release is scarcely "a VHS rip." It's a first-generation telecine transfer from the original 35mm negative. Which, of course, makes all the difference to the viewing experience. Hee hee hee hee.