"Breeders" DVD review

When I saw the review at "10k Bullets'" website of Breeders, I had to check this out.  I love cheesy bad horror movies.  Bad dialogue, nonsense plots, meandering performances, anything that makes me laugh, I consider gold. 

So what about "Breeders?"  There's not much of a plot.  Monster goes after "virgins" to impregnate them.  A detective and a nurse, the dynamic duo, try to put things together with wooden performances and cardboard intensity. 

Yes, there's TONS of nudity.  Every other scene, there's a chick undressing.  There's a few gory set pieces, but nothing any seasoned horror fan hasn't seen before.  So what do you we get that's so great?

The monster is about the worst rubber costume to appear on film ever since the low budget movies of the 50's and 60's.  So that's a letdown, but the dialogue is where it's at. 

But I'll be honest, you'll have to really be in the mood for this kind of movie.  It's not funny like "Troll 2," the holy grail of bad horror movies.  It's just a train wreck you have to watch, though most would walk out on it.  So you're in Ed Wood territory.  "Breeders" is on the fine line of hilarious movie fun and a quick way to get a headache. 

Okay, maybe it didn't give me a headache, but the laugh factor wears off about an hour into it.  You've got a lot of people going into buildings, walking up flights of stairs, going from Point A to Point B and taking forever to do so.  So where "Breeders" suceeds in being a ridiculous b-movie, it suffers what a lot of low budget horror movies succumb to, and that's having to waste time to make it feature length.  If this movie was sixty minutes, I'd pay the same price and would've enjoyed it a lot more.

Worth a watch?  Only if you like to expand your bad movie viewing experience.  If not, stay away.  There's nothing scary or especially gory, just ridiculous fun that gets boring about an hour into it, but still noteworthy in its own right.  Bottom line, if it weren't for the horrible "funny" dialogue and nudity, it'd be completely throw away. 

Not a gem, but not quite a turd.  Final verdict: C.

My Novels So Far, and More to Come!

It's 2012, and for me, another year of fighting to reach an audience of readers.  Yeah, it's tough and slow going, but I'm trying to start this year off with a throat punch.  This Tuesday, February 7th, "B-Movie Reels" will be released on e-book with a June paperback release.  And keep your eyes peeled, because the sequel "B-Movie Attack" is right behind it, each book from Samhain Press.  I'm also proud to announce "Ashes in Her Eyes: Uncut Edition" will be out in February as well.  This is a re-release of a book I had published about a year ago.  It's re-edited, uncut, and better than ever.  And finally, I plan to release the sequel to "Cider Mill Vampires" by the end of the year on e-book.  This will be called "This Town Eats Everything." 

I'd like to thank all my friends and family who have shown support, as well as fellow authors who have shown their support and enthusiam for the genre and the craft of writing itself.  For those at Samhain Publishing, Living Dead Press, Open Casket Press, and Damnation Books, who've helped me every step of the way professionally, I extend my deepest thank you.  This writing thing I do isn't a fleeting interest.  It's a life long journey, and I can't wait to meet more people and accumulate new experiences.  And support your authors, no matter what genre they write in.  Read and buy books.  Happy 2012!

COMING SOON!!!!!

COMING SOON!!!!!!

"B-Movie Reels" on e-book!

  "B-Movie Reels" is now available for pre-order on e-book.  Official release date is February 7th.  You can get it from Samhain's website or on amazon, or Barnes and Noble.  Check out the horror madness of b-movie villains coming to life in a small town.  Blood, boobs, and butchery!

Syngenor Movie Review

This movie screams Syfy channel movie if Syfy channel existed in 1990.  The main difference between the crappy CGI made-for-cable movies and "Syngenor" is nostalgia.  It screams early 90's trying to come to terms with the end of the 1980's.  This movie is full of fake rubber suited monsters, but damn it, they're physical costumes.  People had to put effort into making these special effects.  Think "A-Pix" flicks like "Ice Cream Man" and "Jack Frost" (the killer snowman movie) or even "Chud 2: Bud the Chud."  These were the good old days where middle of the road movies that were direct to video were actually half-way interesting, despite their production downfalls.  Overall, with this movie, you get a potent mix of cheesy acting, poor effects, and the funniest swat team to ever grace celluloid.

Okay, the last 30 minutes of this flick is what really counts.  There's a ton of meandering with a company ran by David Gale of "Re-animator" fame in the first hour that gets pretty droll.  It goes on and on about how "Syngenor" was designed to fight battles for the United States, the monster being a super solider that can quickly reproduce.  Blah, blah, blah, but once you get the funny swat team battle under your belt, the rest is pretty awesome for a cheapie flick.  I even felt shades of "Frankenhooker" and "Re-animator" at the very end when the Syngenor mutates and changes yet again.  The last half hour is where it's at, so you might be tempted to skip the first hour if you view the movie again. 

So sure, the movie is "average," but I give "Syngenor" more credit for its fun last half-hour.  Skip the first hour, and you've got a descent slice of entertainment.  I give this one a low "B." 

"Cider Mill Vampires" E-Book FREE for Amazon Prime Members!

  That's right, my e-book "Cider Mill Vampires" is free for Amazon Prime Members.  Please go to the link below to get yours free! 

http://www.amazon.com/Cider-Mill-Vampires-ebook/dp/B0059MQAOY/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314366982&sr=1-1

"Ashes In Her Eyes: Uncut" will be released early 2012.  Here's the cover for it.  Prepare yourself for horror, carnage, and learning about the place where cremated remains go in the afterlife.  I promise you horror upon horror, readers, so keep your eyes glued, because this will be out before you know it.