DVD-R MANIA!!!

Lately, I've noticed an influx of horror movies being re-released "on demand" by MGM and Warner Bros.  A lot of people lambast the companies for not putting out a full-out release with extensive extras, but to a degree, I'm happy to see these companies trying to find a way of releasing older horror movies that are obscure or not guaranteed to sell tons of copies. 
So why be happy to receive a DVD-R?  Well, I'm not dissing those who want to hold out for a full-out release, but then again, concerning some of these movies, will they ever receive a full-out release?  Now I'm refering only to MGM and Warner Bros., not other companies.  MGM and WB seem to be doing okay, as far as the horror movies they're releasing goes. 

So again, why be happy for a DVD-R?  First of all, the two companies have put out decent tranfers of these films.  And a few of them are un-cut or on DVD for the first time.  Have you seen "Razorback"?   What a transfer!  This movie is a beautiful work of art, and the DVD-R captures it in all its glory.  This movie is a forgotten gem, and it's a superior film. 


"Sugar Hill" is another example of a wonderful film transfer.  It's a fun old school zombie movie that's hokey as hell but also a delight to watch.  There's a lot of great DVD companies releasing films these days, including Severin, Mondo Macabro, Dark Sky Films, Blue Underground, just to name a few, but some of these obscure titles like the above, a fan wonders if there's any other way for a company to make money on releasing these films other than by on the "on-demand" model.  So I say go for it.  Sure, these movies deserve good extras and better packaging, but as far as the movie themselves go, MGM and Warner Bros. aren't doing a terrible job. 

Why I need to write about this, who knows, but I love horror movies, and there you go.  I want to see every old horror title find its way into my DVD player at some point in my life.  So hurry up movie companies.  Keep 'em coming!

Hellraiser: Revelations SUCKS

This is not "Pinhead." 


This is the real "Pinhead" with his fellow Cenobites.  And the picture below, that's a sorry looking Cenobite.  The lesson, the movie "Hellraiser: Revelations" sucks. 

"DON'T OPEN UNTIL CHRISTMAS" MONDO MACABRO DVD REVIEW

It's Christmas again.  Should we see the "Advenutres of Tin Tin" or "Don't Open Until Christmas?" Well, you know my answer to that question.

Mondo Macarbo has finally given this obscure 80's slasher film a solid release with its better tranfer (this isn't pristine, but I think the film negative itself was probably on the crummy side to begin with) and uncut presentation.  I love this DVD company because they'll find just about any obscure movie and give it the good treatment.  "Lady Terminator" is probably one of my favorites they've put out.  Great film.
But anyway, "Don't Open Until Christmas" is a very disjointed movie in regards to plot and character continuity.  Sometimes it's funny because of this, sometimes it's head scratching.  For example, a woman sees her father (who is dressed as Santa at the time) stabbed through the head with a long spear.  A day or so later, the boyfriend of this grieving woman tries to get her to pose in a nude photo shoot.  How sensitive, right?  I think  another issue is there are too many characters and the movie fails to really hone in on any of them.  You've got random santa killings (the killer is targeting people dressed as santa as Christmas is closing in), a reporter, a boyfriend and girlfriend, and a set of detectives, including the incomporable Edmund Purdom, who isn't in this movie enough.  He's the best actor of the film, easily.  You should check out "Pieces" and "Horrible," both with Mr. Purdom.   "Pieces" is on my top five favorite slasher films list ever.  EVER. 
So does it sound like I'm dogging on this holiday movie.  Well, I'm not.  Despite some stretches of being boring, I actually liked this film.  On the DVD box it boasts 14 kills, but most of these are tame, being off-screen, though there are three or four inspired kills, so that makes me happy enough.  The last kill, for some reason, at the very climax of the movie when the killers motives are explained, I really enjoyed.  The movie ends on a strong note when you find out what's in the box that shouldn't be opened until Christmas. 
Final verdict, I give the movie a "B" and the release gets a "B+."  Now don't me wrong, this movie isn't up there with "My Bloody Valentine" or "The Burning."  Keep in mind, I'm scraping the barrel of old 80's slasher movies.  I'd say this is one of the better scraping of the barrel in the pack.  It's not great, but it's not a complete waste of time.  "Like" not "Love."  But I'm proud to have it in my collection. 

"Embodiment of Evil" review, or FLOOD OF GUTS AND ASS!

An avalance of TNA and GORE!  A barrel of CHEESE and LONG INTESTINES!  A black top hat full of BLOOD!  If a person who didn't understand the zest and fun of b-horror movies, they would "embody" it after watching, er, "Embodiment of Evil." 
The rundown is simple.  Coffin Joe wants to find a nubile woman to have his child.  Suffice it say, he meets dozens of nubile women and still, he just can't find the right lady to have his son.  Man, I can feel for the guy.  Naked hot women are throwing themselves at this old b-movie icon, and it just doens't work out, so what do you do?  You keep looking for hot nubile women, damn it.  Sure, the plot is kinda stupid.  But who cares?  I haven't seen a movie that's made torture, gore, sex, and weird dreamy psycho stuff come off as such a cheesy good time.  People get seriously harmed in this movie, but damn it, it's fun.  There's either something wrong with me, or the filmmakers have got their hearts in the right place.  I give this movie an "A."  I'm shocked to see this low budget film come off as so ambitious.  Great gore, crazy set pieces, and the acting, well, don't worry about that.  You get your bang for your buck in this one.  And this is coming from a reviewer who hadn't seen any of the Coffin Joe movies from the black and white glory days of film. 

"The Silent House" Movie Review

Now I can say I've watched a horror flick from Uruguay.  Anyway, there isn't a whole lot to review in this film called "The Silent House."  I respect the filmmakers attempt to shake off the POV camera/shaky camera effect for something more original.  The camera is basically following the girl throughout the whole movie, either from behind her or beside her, so it feels like you're actually her.  From that standpoint, very interesting idea.  What this film seriously lacks is substance.  I don't want to give the plot away (what little there is of it), but you're in a house with the girl hearing things and seeing things and generally wondering what the hell is going on.  The movie is JUST that, really, a girl walking about a house.  This movie fails to keep the movie watcher engaged once the truth behind what's going on is revealed.  The real problem is it could've been an interesting short film, but as a feature length film, it gets boring.  Now don't get me wrong, this movie had seriously potential.  It's not shot poorly, and the filmmakers seemed to know what they were doing.  The problem, there isn't much that actually happens.  To say anymore gives away the entire store and the point of this film.  I give it a "C" grade.  Could've been good, though. 

"Video Nasties" That Don't Suck Part One

I realized the other day that a few of my recent movie reviews on this blog happened to be "Video Nasties," which is a classification of movies banned in the UK back when home video was in its infancy.  I've been hard on the list of films so far, so I'd like to give a few examples of a few diamonds in the rough in this collection of "nasty" movies. 

I'll start with "Bloody Moon."  I've never been a huge fan of Jess Franco's films, but this one actually stands out from his fount of euro-horror/sleaze.  I won't give too much away, but this slasher movie actually works.  It's got a lot of nudity, some really good kill scenes (especially one involving a logging saw--delicious), and it's overall seedy nature lends it that special quality missing in a lot of similar slasher knock-offs of its time.  The soundtrack is absolutely atrocious.  In an interview with Jess Franco, he said the soundtrack was supposed to be Pink Floyd, but it didn't work out in the end--big fucking surprise considering this is a low budget movie.  I give it a solid 3.4 out of 5 stars.  Pretty darn good, and Severin's release of the DVD is a top-notch transfer with all the gory goods and nudiness intact.  Thank you Severin!

"Pieces" has got to be in my top five favorite slasher movies of all time.  The premise of a killer wanting to put together a jigsaw puzzle with a nude chick on it together for real is sick and twisted enough, but throw in some really over-the-top kill scenes, a college campus "Casanova" who's really good with the ladies, enough cheesy red herrings to occupy twenty slasher movies, and Christopher George's performance, and you've got b-grade bliss.  This movie delivers, no matter if the plot or the characters can't be taken too seriously.  I do take it seriously because it's that awesome.  It works on an impish level, and I love that kind of humor dervied from a movie where people tried to take a ridiculous idea seriously.  I'm not knocking it, keep in mind.  And I cherish the "Grindhouse Releasing's" uncut DVD with a beautiful transfer.  If you haven't seen this one make it a priority, especially if you're a slasher movie fan.

I'll finish part one of my "Nasties" list by mentioning "The Burning."  I think this should've been "Friday the 13th Part Two."  It's got Tom Savini special effects and that distinctive 80's slasher feel with enough sleaze and gutter humanity greasiness to it to win its way into my heart.  The premise is simple, a summer camp caretaker gets burned in a prank gone wrong, and later, the campers who go to the same camp in the future get stalked and killed.  What's different here is that the campers who end up being knocked off don't deserve to be killed, really.  They had nothing to do with the accident where the killer got burned.  We've got some good kill scenes, but what really makes me like this is how I feel after watching it.  Innocent people die, and that's the horror of it.  It's got enough darkness and real grime to it to stick to my ribs, and I've watched it multiple times.  Good stuff.   Good nasty.

"Hard Candy" Movie Review

     For starters, I can't say this is a straight horror film, but its characters, motives, and the way the movie's intentions unfold are extremely horrifying.  "Hardy Candy" is the very definition of uncomfortable tension.  Back when I was taking creative writing classes, teachers would always emphasize putting likeable characters in your story, a person the audience can cheer for.  In "Hard Candy," the narration tricks you along every step of the way.  You're not sure who to like or cheer for, since the story is literally only between Ellen Page and Patrick Wilson for the entire film.  They are both very questionable characters facing obviously immorally wrong things.

This film strings you out on mystery, but ultimately, the movie has a satisfying conclusion.  I really respect the writers and filmmakers who take on such risky  material as pedophilia.  Most people in general don't want to think about these people in our society, yet they're out there.  What would you do if put in this situation?  This movie, like many thrillers or horror movies, puts you in the line of fire and makes you consider the terrible underbelly of our society.  And if you were worried, this movie is far from pro-pedophilia.  I don't want to give too much away, because the story relies on cunning twists and turns, but if you're in the mood for a slow burn with lots of suspense, and you like your morals to be challenged, give this one a shot.